Saturday, November 21, 2009

Twi-line hoax

For 15 minutes last Thursday, I stood between team Jacob and team Edward, gathering evidence for team irony.

While at the Brokencyde show I reviewed earlier this week, Ezra, a music critic colleague from the Mercury, mentioned how funny it would be pretend as if you were camping out for the Twilight: New Moon midnight opening on your facebook status. I mentioned this to my friend Nate C, and he was inspired to take the idea one step further and asked me to meet him at the twi-line to stage photos to be disseminated over facebook and twitter periodically throughout the night.

We were outside Lloyd Center for about 10 minutes. The vampire fans had gotten so comfortable waiting that they didn't think it was all that weird total strangers asked to pose with them playing cards for pictures.

As we began to post these pictures, the comments started coming in. Nate's friends are used to his unpredictably nerdy taste and applauded the camp out. I, however, got some comments as hostile as "FUCK NEW MOON." My favorite though is on this early update, one of my friends from my home town just posted, "Dude..."

Picture 1

Our goal here was to fool, in addition to all our acquaintances, people who know us really well, including Nate's girlfriend. So we went all out and even broke and relit our candle to demonstrate the passage of time.


Now, I enjoyed the first Twilight movie and I think I'll see the second one soon, but I didn't really want to wait in line for it on opening night. Nate hasn't seen either movie because he just started reading the first book. We pretended like we were reading it to each other in line.


This is where I started to feel bad. See, I haven't read the books. But some of my friends were really stoked that I had! I felt bad about deceiving them the next day.

But in the mean time, I was actually at home finishing up some work (I keep odd hours), and working was a heck of a lot more fun than usual. In fact, when Nate threw up this update, I actually got really excited, as if I really were in the theater.

Picture 2

And by the end of the night, with this staged, leaving-the-theater shot, we had, in fact, fooled Nate's girlfriend.


So anyway, my apologies if you're my facebook friend and feel your Twilight enthusiasm was mocked! I am actually all about it and when we were leaving the theater after taking the photos, a part of me just wanted to stay and see the movie. But a bigger part of me wanted to be warm and make my deadlines. So why did we do this? Well, it was a lot of fun, first of all. But I just find it curious that people are so honest on facebook and twitter, so I thought I'd try this experiment. I wonder how you could use social media deception for personal or career gain.

Oh, and follow me on twitter and add me on facebook, especially if you're gullible.

Let's get fucking freaky now...

It makes so much sense that a band that's been called "fucking horrendous" and "a mockery to the world of music" by the national media is from Albuquerque, which also happens to be my home town. Albuquerque is a pretty apocalyptic place. I had guns pulled on me there. For entertainment, my friends and I burned wreckage in a wasteland on the edge of town where there was once a housing development. What did Brokencyde do with their free time? They took all the shitty music of the last 10 years, put it in a blender, and poured into this video:

I find this video transfixing. I watched it three times when I first discovered on Adam Gnade's tour blog. The song got suck in my head and I annoyed my girlfriend by singing it. Why do I like it? Because it's apocalyptic. It's a musical burning of cultural wreckage.

So despite a preview in the Portland Mercury that said something like, "You're seriously crazy if you go to this show," I decided to review it for the Oregonian. It was, ultimately, disappointing. Although I was impressed with the enthusiasm of the young crowd and did enjoy hanging out with the 4 other members of the local music media who decided to brave the spectacle.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


October was a big month for metal here in Portland, and I had such a serious bangover I just got around to writing about it now.

Mastodon and Dethklok kicked things off, and I wrote a preview and review of their show, which I thoroughly enjoyed. My favorite part was the first three songs of Dethklok when I got to photograph the band in front of the barricade. This is always a fairly cool thing to do, but since the live band plays in the shadows of a giant screen showing the animated band that stars in the Adult Swim series, "Metalocalypse," it was interesting to see the musicians up close and observe how playing alongside animated counterparts changes things.

The day after that show, my band, the Metal Shakespeare Company, played in one of our favorite towns, Ashland. Chris Conrad at the Mail Tribune was kind enough to write an article about us. It's the third time he's interviewed me and fourth time he's written about our band. I think he is becoming the official bardcore historian!

And October wrapped up with the Fall into Darkness festival at Berbati's. I wrote a preview of the fest and attended the second and third nights of it. My favorite performance was Ludicra on Halloween. They were they only band that had me up front throwing horns, although Saviors came close and performed in Campbell's Soup cans.

Since I was spending Halloween at Berbati's, I decided to dress as that guy who comes up to you and tries to sell you roses in downtown Portland bars. I walked up to lots of people and said, "A rose for the lady?" Some of my own friends didn't recognize me!


But the by far the most metal costume of the night was my friend Laura who went as Goatwhore. Get it?