You remember when she asked you for change three months ago because she made eye contact and seemed extraordinarily lucid. Now she lives in the Stewart Hotel on Southwest Broadway, caring for a sick man there. Before that, she slept on Portland’s streets for nine years. You sit with her on a warm afternoon in the North Park blocks. She was born an orphan in Japan. Now she is 57 years old and reminds you of a friend’s mother.My husband went to visit his people in Alabama and he never made it back. His sister called me and told me that he had been run over by his brother’s car and he died before the ambulance came. So I moved in with my daughter in law, who lived behind a man who ran a drug house. But I didn’t know that. I went to church all the time, and I was a very responsible member of the PTA and all that.
I moved and this man—we’ll say Money, Mississippi, because that’s where he’s from—he’d say, “Hey girl!” He’s a black guy. “What’s going on? You like to play dominoes? You like to play cards?” He wanted sex.
Anyway, he invites me to his house and I say, “Well, what the heck.” This is an old man. I mean he was in really good shape, but white hair, white everything, and it just so happened he ran a crack house. And eventually he says to me, “Hey you tried drugs?” Because I told him I’d try anything, you know I was feeling pretty terrible. And he was a nice guy, but he gave me this pipe and I passed out right away. And it led to, oh, about nine years of homelessness.
It’s not easy though, getting off the street. It is not, especially for a woman. You know who gets help? It’s recovering drug addicts, alcoholics, ex-cons, the mentally ill, prostitutes, battered women and women with children. I don’t fit into those categories. My children are grown. I am a recovering drug addict, but I refuse to get on medication. I don’t need to be neutralized or super cooled. I need to have my mind functioning all the way. Already I’ve done enough damage to myself.
I think I was meant to go through this for a purpose so that maybe I can do something for other people. My youngest daughter’s 23. She’s in Las Vegas and she’s like, “Yeah right, mom, mm hm.” But I’m not really trying to prove myself to anybody. I’m just trying to get it together. I want to have a house and have my kids come to see me, but I gotta slow down, just take it step by step. I pan handle sometimes to get from here to there, but what means the most to me now is your attention, and if you speak to me, that means so much to me. To hear more about Money Mississippi and Portland’s lack of women’s shelters, check out the Friendly, Friendly Follow Through online.




