Thursday, October 4, 2007
Just Throwing This Out There: Tootin' Khamuns
Ever since I started a theme band of my own, I have this habit of coming up with ideas for theme bands. Since one theme band is about all a man can handle, these ideas go to waste.
Or make that went to waste.
That’s right, I’m giving them to you, loyal readers. From now on, I will present one ludicrous band idea every Wednesday on this site. They are yours for the taking. If someone out there takes one of these ideas and runs with it, I will be most flattered and invite them to play in my basement.
So, without further ado, here’s my first idea. See, I’m down here in Fullerton, California, hanging out with my buddy Mark JW. It’s probably getting a little chilly where you are, but here in Orange County, it’s still summer. I find myself spending large portions of the day shirtless (and pants-less when no one’s around).
Mark and I were getting ready to take a dip in the pool at his apartment complex when he pointed out that, with the towel on my head I looked sort of Egyptian.
I smelled a theme band.
“The Tutankhamuns,” I thought. “What kind of band would be called the Tutankhamuns?”
Then it hit me. An ancient Egypt-themed ska band called the Tootin’ Khamuns. The toaster (the guy who goes “Hey! Hey! Pick it up!” through the set) would be dressed as a mummy. The frontman, a pharaoh. Everyone else in loin cloths and eye makeup. You’d play songs like, “The Scarab Skank,” and the Bengals-inspired “Skank like an Egyptian” and some of your lyrics would be in hieroglyphics—you’d just shout, “Hand! Reed! Swirl!” between bitchin’ horn parts in the harmonic minor scale.
Go forth. Rock the sarcophagus.